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What the hell did I just watch?

So for a week now, I’ve been inundated with this SmackDown Blast From the Past brouhaha and I must admit, I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I imagined red, white, and blue ropes. I imagined sky-blue floor pads surrounding the ring. Hell, maybe there would even be some metal barricades! …I got nothin’. I got a bunch of old guys in terrible skits.  I know they’re old, I wasn’t expecting Ted DiBiase to come down off the 2nd rope with a fist drop, but for the love of god, give them something worthwhile. The closest thing to worthwhile entertainment was Jimmy Hart managing a tag team whilst simultaneously annoying the crap out of guest commentator Mick-cactus-dude-mankind-love-jack-Foley to the point of him taking out Sock-O. What was really great about it was the fact that the audience was on Jimmy’s side! Take that, Mick!

I don't know what I want more: The megaphone or that bomb-ass jacket!

The rest of the evening was spent with 1 minute matches and Johnny Dimples stammering his way through his Jerkface speech to Sheamus. Here’s my problem with this work: He goes out and continues to be blatantly unfair to the faces, and that would be fine with me if the WWE hadn’t spent all of Summer 2011 working an angle of “the higher up’s can remove your ass if you’re out of line.” McMahon got thrown out on this premise, and he’s fuckin’ Vince McMahon! If they want me to swallow the notion that he could be kicked out of his position in the company, don’t you dare try to make also “believe” they couldn’t do the exact same thing to Johnny. I’ve brought it up in an old post, but i feel the need to reiterate it now: If you’re going to have fake rules and a fake hierarchy, at least have the decency to fake follow it! I don’t think I’m asking too much here. I think Johnny Dimples (i’m going to keep using this nickname til it sticks, so get used to it) is a great character. Now, the guy playing him sucks as an actor, but we’re kind of in a catch-22 in that regard, so let me approach it from another angle. Why doesn’t J-Dimps (spin-off of a nickname that hasn’t even caught on yet, man I’m good!) have to abide by the same standards of fairness that were required for HHH to keep his job? I understand that we want to build heat for this guy, but for the love of god, the heat is already so high, I think we can just let it continue to boil at it’s current pace. I feel like the audience would get a kick out of watching Johnny squirm as he has to play by the rules, knowing it’s killing him inside. Now, to be fair, the People Power era has just begun so perhaps this will come up eventually, but it’s already dragging too long for me. (Side note: Everybody’s hat needs to go off to the creative man or woman who played up this whole politician/propaganda angle for Johnny Dimples. It’s so good it almost pisses me off.) But I’ve been sidetracked by the worst wardrobe in show business for long enough, lets get back to the geriatrics.

That is the exact same smile I have in my kindergarten picture

“Cowboy” Bob Orton got mysteriously beat up by Kane, who then beat up Randy when he went looking for his dad. Kane then said “I love family reunions”. I should have turned the TV off right then and there, but I didn’t. Because I’m stupid. I then got to watch more of my heroes tarnish their legacy, until finally Roddy Piper came out and put on a clinic of how to use a microphone to it’s maximum potential. If you want to hear a badass story about Piper and Cowboy Bob, told by the Hot Rod himself, click here. Most of the Legends still looked pretty decent (considering their incredibly advanced age), and I would have bet my very last dollar that Mae Young was dead, so it was great to see her in what was honestly one of the funnier moments of the evening. But all is not bad in the WWE. One thing appears to be here to stay and I, for one, couldn’t be happier: SQUASH MATCHES! RyBack, Brodus Clay, and Lord A-Train are all squashing 180 pound sacks of potatoes and it’s fantastic! They kick jobber’s asses for 20-60 seconds and then they move on. This is how you introduce people. This is how you get people to believe that these guys are godless killing machines, and unstoppable forces of nature. Now, when every one of these guys get into their first legit feud, i’ll be truly wondering who is going to come out on top, and who is going to be the superstar to derail (pun intended) these new monsters on the roster.

Overall the night was a definite disappointment, but hey, these guys never take a week off, and even I can cut them a little slack. Here’s to hoping next week is better. Thanks for reading everybody. Remember, when life gets you down, kick out at 2. When you can’t kick out at 2, reach for the ropes.

–PerfectHeel

I don’t know where the WWE is going, but I’m fully on board

Just like A-Train, the PerfectHeel is back on track. I must admit, a large part of the hiatus of this blog was due to the fact that I’m lazy. An even bigger part is that I was uninspired. However, that could not be further from the case today. Even going into WrestleMania, I didn’t seem as jacked as most of my friends were. This is at least partially because I knew my boy was going to go down to the Big Slow (nobody talks that much shit and gets away with it, not even the son of the American Dream), but also, I just didn’t feel the spark and spirit that my comrades had in their hearts. They knew the night was going to be magical, and I was just too much of a Negative Nancy to see it. My mind changed quickly after the 18 second jobbing of Daniel Bryan. Was he going to lose that match? Of course. Did I see it going down that way? Absolutely not!

One of the biggest things that was destroyed with the internet is the element of surprise.  With so many rumor mills and message boards, the truth almost always comes out, but I don’t know of a single person that saw this coming. Many people are upset because they feel those two didn’t get the time to shine like they deserved, and those people are 100% correct. Sheamus is amazing, especially for a big man (who I generally think are just a bunch of overrated sack of potatoes) and D-Bry is a true wrestler’s wrestler. It was great to see the fans give him the props he deserves. Even still though, I loved the kick-off just for the shock and awe factor, and I am forever grateful that Rhodes didn’t have to job for the element of surprise. I like ya Bryan, but not that much. The night was filled with great moments, but I hate the kind of blogs that just do rundowns and don’t look at the bigger picture, so lets widen our scope a little.

It looks like the A-Train ate Hakushi.

I can honestly say for the first time in many, many, many years that I have no idea what’s going to happen next. More gimmicks are coming out of the woodwork (people who have been reading this for a while already know my love of well-executed gimmicks) every week, random alliances are popping up out of nowhere (Brodus Clay coming to the aid of Santino Marella? Fo Realz?), titles are being defended regularly on weekly programs? All I can say is I WANT MORE!  This is one of the most exciting times for wrestling. Its the dawning of a “new era”, and if the crowds can keep up even one fifth of the excitement and intensity that the Miami crowds had for WM and Raw, this is going to be a full-blown circus. And I say good! This is professional entertainment. There was a bit of a staleness going on lately that was starting to effect a lot of people. My friend Tony and I continued our tag-team debate, and I’ll admit that tag team wrestling can be VERY formulaic at times, but that doesn’t have to be the case. The WWE is constantly re-inventing the wheel, and if they can do it for the tag team division, I might be in WWE ecstasy. Who knows, they might even start giving DZ the respect he deserves, but now I think I’m just getting ahead of myself.

Of course, no Heel post would be complete with me throwing love to the best Intercontinental Champion in the last 15 years, Cody Rhodes. Yes he went down to the Big Slow, but he did his job, and that’s bring credibility back to the Intercontinental Title. No longer is this belt in the same ranks as the U.S. title or Diva’s title. This is a title that actually means something now. You have to be a name to deserve the shot. He didn’t drop it to Kofi Kingston or Alex Riley or Ezekiel fuckin’ Jackson, he dropped it to a 5 time heavyweight champion (6 time if you count ECW, but nobody counts ECW, and nobody should.)  Furthermore, Rhodes brought back the classic design (which I think we can all agree was brilliant), engaged in huge storylines, and successfully defended his title against headliners. And now, it’s on to bigger and better things. I think that big gold belt would look damn good around the waist of the dashing one. That pasty Irish cheese-bomb better be shaking in his kilt (Jingoism for the win!) because now the sky’s the limit. Did you hear the response he got from the Miami crowd at Raw? My man is getting respect. And by the way, NOBODY looked better coming down that aisle on Sunday.

Thank you for the last 236 days. You are a true champion.

So where does the WWE go from here? I have no idea, but you better believe I’ll be tuning in to find out. What were your impressions of WrestleMania XXVIII? Where do you see these storylines going? And also, what gimmick are they going to re-work next? I’m thinking a re-work of Duke “the Dumpster” Drose, or perhaps we can bring back The Brood.

Thanks for reading everybody and remember: when life gets you down, kick out at two. And if you can’t kick out at two, reach for the ropes.

–PerfectHeel

The future is funky, my friend

2012 is going to be a fantastic year for the WWE. Launching the WWE Network, the much needed re-vamping of the logo (the attitude era is long-since gone, its time to get rid of the “extreme” font), and some good old fashioned fun being brought back to the squared circle, from two of the most unexpected sources. First we have John Laurinaitis and this whole Corporate interference thing the WWE is bringing back. Now, don’t get me wrong, the guy still can’t act, and has an absolutely desolate wardrobe, but the storyline he’s in right now is fantastic and Punk is good enough on the mic to make up for Johnny. This character is great. He’s hated in a comparable yet completely separate way from the way Mr. McMahon was hated. And how appropriate is it that Punk is pretty much the modern day Stone Cold to play antagonist to Laurinaitis’ stumbling, bumbling, executive-vice-president-of-talent-relations version of the Boss.
And then there’s  Brodus Clay. Where the hell did this come from? I remember a few short months ago watching Brodus stoically destroy hometown jobbers and all the sudden, i have a fatter version of the Godfather on my hands? Let me just say: I love it! I know I’m the heel and all of that, but this guy is entertaining as hell. For a big man, he can move very well in the ring, and I have to admit, i’m totally captivated by this guy. For reasons unknown, I’m fully on board the bandwagon.

Funkassaurus Rex!

However, what has me even more geeked is the Royal Rumble match coming up in about 10 days. To me, this is the best match the WWF has ever created. Born in ’88, improved in ’89, and perfected in ’92 (making the Rumble winner become WWE champ, or at least WWE #1 contender), the Rumble is non-stop action for an hour. The only thing that they could do to improve the rumble is to bring back the wrestler thoughts segment.  Why the hell would you ever get rid of this? This is promo gold!

I’m not one for predictions, especially in a scripted sport, so I’ll just say the top 5 Wrestlers I’ll be pulling for in the rumble.

Brodus Clay – If this guy wins, it’d be the quickest and biggest push any superstar has received since Hogan winning the WCW title in his first in-ring appearance for the company. However, he’s entertaining, and i dont think nearly enough big men have won this rumble. Again, i know it’s scripted but Rey Mysterio going coast-to-coast? give me a break. Brodus would have eaten his children before Rey even hit the ring.

Chris Jericho – This return still has me confused. He’d be such a great opponent for Punk, and while I love Dolph, there’s no chance Punk loses that title before ‘Mania. So why not have 2 of the best technical wrestlers in the biz face each other for the title at Wrestlemania? Besides, we still have no idea what he’s doing back in the WWE yet because of his silence, but they’ve already had him turn his back on Punk in a match, perhaps the Rumble will really set this thing in motion?

Sheamus – Going back to the big guys, it’s totally plausible  for Sheamus to win the rumble from a size standpoint, he’s been in several undercard feuds, coming out the winner in all of them (literately and figuratively ). He’s a great character who’s fantastic in big matches. Him and DB could have a great Wrestlemania match. Especially now that Mr. Bryan is becoming quite the convincing heel.

Randy Orton – The Viper has been out of the Main Event scene for too long. This guy is still unbelievable, and lately i’ve been watching matches from earlier in his career before I got back into the scene. This guy deserves to be one of the most decorated champions ever. An Orton/Punk reboot would be much appreciated by me, who missed some of the better moments the first go-around, and Orton/Bryan would be entertaining also. Pretty much anybody you put in the ring with Orton will have a good match. And damn…those dropkicks…

Cody Rhodes – My man-crush on Cody does not appear to be dying down at all, does it? The current I.C. champ (5-month long reign and counting. Just sayin’) recently said he was going to pull an Ultimate Warrior and hold both titles. Now, even I admit that Rhodes is not ready to be the face of the company yet, but a push like this could get him ready very quickly. Either way, I think 2012 is going to take Cody to the main event level, and I say bring it on.

One bold prediction I will make: This year, the winner comes from the dreaded 11-20 range. I’m thinking #15. Go define the odds, middle men!

Discussion Question: Who are YOU pulling for in this year’s Rumble?

It’s in the bank

In watching the most recent Smackdown, A great storyline (and match with Cody Rhodes) was continued with Daniel Bryan’s quest for championship gold. You see, five months ago DB won the Smackdown 2011 Money In The Bank match. I truly feel this is the best concept the WWE has incorporated in the last 10 years. Here are my top 5 reasons the Money In The Bank match is such a beautiful idea.

5. It involves a ladder. I’m a sucker for ladders. Ever since Shawn Michaels went “Superfly” on Razor Ramon, I’ve been all about the ladders. They’re so versatile! The drama is great, the finishes are always over the top, and there’s always a good chance someone is going through a table, which segues nicely into number 4…

4. It is attitude-esque. Oooh that violence! At times it seems a little absurd that all 7 guys on the floor would just stand in a little huddle while someone like Jeff Hardy or John Morrison jumps on them from 20 feet in the air, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s super dangerous and entertaining to watch. These guys kill themselves for our mere entertainment dollar. The least we can do is respect and give props when done so. The Attitude Era took a lot of liberties with the word “wrestling” but i’d be lying if i said it didn’t WOW and impress me.

3. It ALWAYS fast-tracks your career. It’s pretty much a given that if you have that briefcase, you’re going to be a mainstay on every single televised program. And since that briefcase has been cashed successfully EVERY time, it’s pretty much a title in-and-of itself. Of course, someone is going to be the first person to not capitalize on it, and that person will have that stigma with them forever, but until that day comes, I consider the MITB briefcase to be the 3rd biggest title in the game.

2. Anybody can win! Because this briefcase can be cashed in 3 calendar seasons later, it truly means that any of the competitors have a realistic shot of winning. if they plan on using the briefcase soon, then of course one of the bigger names in the event are going to win. However, like in this case, where they planned on making this thing go the distance, they were able to have DB win it, a true upset in this scripted world we enthrall ourselves in.

1. You have to stay on your toes. Unless you have serious insider information, you don’t know when the MITB briefcase is going to be cashed in. So any time the champ is down, if that briefcase is still in play, somewhere in the back of your head, an alarm goes off, telling you to be on alert for the drama. Summerslam was a lackluster of a main event, until CM Punk won, then Kevin Nash, then BAM, Alberto Del Rio (without even being properly introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez!) runs down, cashes in the contract, and dashes the dreams of the Punk fans. Now, I consider myself to be one of those Punk fans, but I still love a good twist. And that single move made me feel just in actually ordering the pay per view (before i realized you could watch it online for free.)

This is a call to arms. I’m going through writers block, so if you read this and have any ideas for topics/top 10 lists/whatever, please let me know what you’d like to read about. After all, I write this blog for others to read, not myself.

–PerfectHeel

Top Ten Entrances

Ladies and Gentleman, I apologize it took me so long to make my next post. I have been dealing with some monumental computer problems. No its not an excuse, its a reason. I have not forgotten about this blog, nor do I intend to. My partner “Heel” has been doing a great job keeping you guys updated and when I get my computer situation sorted out I plan on being just as active. Thanks for your patience. And if you dont accept the apology, I think DX said it best… you can just Suck It.

***Disclaimer***

WWEPaperChampion does not own the legal rights to any of the videos linked in this blog, nor are they associated in any way with the person who’s youtube page you are linked to. WWE holds all rights to any entrance videos.

Recognition is what the WWE is all about… and although great wrestling ability will get you recognized with the die hard fans, only a good entrance can make you beloved by all. To be a great entrance and seperate yourself from the rest of the generic songs and antics, you need to excel in each or most of these 5 categories.

1- Instantly Recognizable- If it takes you longer than a half a second to know who is approaching the ring, then you just aren’t doing it right… the first noise is what makes the crowd come alive!

2- Rest of the song- There is more to the music part of entrances than just the first 5 or so seconds. Does your favorite wrestlers entire song hurt or help their case to be on this list?

3- Catchyness (yes I just made up a word)- Ever get that song stuck in your head, or keep horribly trying to mimic their catchphrase or sing the guitar riffs of your favorite wrestlers? No? Then your wrestlers entrance sucks!!

4- Energy/Creepiness- I group these two together because an entrance doesnt have to blow the roof off the building to be great. Sometimes dark and creepy settings, with the anticipation build up are better than loud in your face entrances. Also this counts for both the wrestlers energy and the energy they invoke in the crowd.

5- Swag- There is so many ways to describe “swag”. Simply put, its the way one carries themselves. If the wrestler seems unsure of himself by accident (Mankind would flinch and slowly walk to the ring, R-Truth looks over his shoulder for “Little Jimmy purposely emitting reluctance and uncertainty”) then they probably arent going to have the crowds attention too much. Where as a wrestler that interacts with the crowd, or has a routine, an arrogance to him/her will at least have the buzz before the match.

Now that I have talked about the criteria I used to rate these entrances, I now give you

J2’s Top Ten Entrances of All Time!

#10-  Ted Dibiase, The Million Dollar Man

If you know absolutely nothing about who the  Million Dollar Man is, all you have to do is listen to his entrance music… from the beginning with the Diabolical laugh to the line of “everybody’s got a price, everybody’s gonna pay”, it describes the Million Dollar Man to a tee. You have to respect a guy who directly calls out the fans in his songs “Some might cost a little, some might cost a lot, but i’m the Million Dollar Man, and you WILL be bought. HAHAHAHA” Although the music after the laugh is not the best the wwe/f has seen or heard, the way Dibiase carried himself down the ramp towards the ring: hands holding the lapels, head up high, and arrogance that oozed from his cheesy, cocky smile as he strutted toward the ring. Nobody was better at convincing you they thought they were untouchable, and that makes for a very impactful entrance. Oh yeah, and that laugh.

Due to the fact that the Million Dollar Man wrestled before the time of camera phones and DVR’s it is proving harder than I thought to find a live entrance of him that is of good enough quality. So instead I am including his titantron video with the song. Sorry for the lack of video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik48XQJcfvU

Criteria

Instantly recognizable – 9
Rest of the song – 7
Catchyness – 6
Energy/Creepiness – 7
Swag – 9
Total- 38

#9- Chris Jericho (Y2J)

The sound of the countdown alarm is only the start of this great entrance, but I believe the second part of the opening makes this go from a good to a great entrance… Just picture Jericho standing arms out with his back to the ring, the spotlight infront of him so all you see is his silhouette… now the second part of the song starts… “Break the walls dowwwnnnn” as Jericho turns down the ramp to choreographed pyro… One of the few entrances that embrace both high energy with high anticipation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtFBbhz_RVc&feature=related

Criteria
Instantly recognizable – 8
Rest of the song – 8
Catchyness – 6
Energy/Creepiness – 9
Swag- 8
total- 39

#8- Stone Cold Steve Austin

Does anyone that has ever watched wrestling think of anything else when they hear glass break than Stone Cold?? I think not.  This is an entrance that relies heavily on 3 out of the 5 criteria, IR, Energy, and Swag… The rest of the
song is not very good and actually really repetitive as Austin does his turnbuckle salute to the fans. But The sheer energy, swag, and the chills you get when you hear the glass break  as Austin runs/hobbles to the ring throwing curses everywhere and, more times than not, with beer in hand earns him this spot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoNmL1nBKOQ&feature=related

^^I apologize for the length of the video and having to sit through a couple of entrances that are not Stone Cold, but this is the biggest pop that I found after searching for a while.

Criteria
Instantly recognizable – 10
Rest of the song- 4
Catchyness- 6
Energy/Creepiness – 10
Swag – 10
total- 40

#7- The Rock

The Rock is undoubtedly one of the greatest WWE superstars of all time (if not the greatest). I know some of you are saying to yourself right now “how is the Rock not higher on the list, his entrances have more crowd pop and energy than anyones?” That is true, but this list isnt just about the crowds energy. The Rock is unrivaled in energy, and unrivaled in fan reception. But the truth of the matter is, apart from the “If you smelllelelelelelela what the Rock is cookin'” the song really isnt that good. The same with the superstar I ranked above him Stone Cold… If his entrance had a good and catchy song to follow up the amazing beginning he would no doubt be top 3 on the list.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BII1rjoHdeU

Criteria

Instantly Recognizable – 10
Rest of the song – 5
Catchyness – 6
Energy – 10
Swag – 10
total – 41

#6- HHH

Time to play the game!!! A very good start to his song, although I don’t care for the rest of it. It is HHH’s antics that make this one of the greats… The deliberate bad ass walk to the ring, the double high arm flex, and the water spit is one of the most recognizable things in WWE history. Part of what makes HHH’s Entrance so memorable is it’s long shelf life. Pretty much after he was the Connecticut Blue Blood and the DX run stopped, that was his first entrance. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. When HHH is coming towards the ring there is no one sitting down, that is a guarantee!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF1NEICBUh8

^^This video is longer than just HHH’s entrance, but it is right at the beginning.

Criteria
Instantly Recognizable – 9
Rest of the song – 6
Catchyness – 8
Energy – 8
Swag – 10
Total- 41

#5- The Undertaker

The best way to describe the impact of The Undertaker’s entrance is just to show his debut in the WWF. This was before the TitanTron, before pyrotechnics, hell, before a ramp! The lights pretty much just stayed the same, Paul Bearer hadn’t even been created yet, but watch the audience. Watch them stare in complete silence at this imposing figure. They watch, bug-eyed and slack-jawed at the walking dead in front of them. The Gong sounds, the organ kicks in, and BAM, you’re staring the Grim Reaper in the face. This isn’t the monster you’re afraid is in your closet at night, this is the guy who keeps the monster as a pet. As time went on and entrances got kicked up to another level, The Dead Man only got more imposing as the lights would shut out, purple fog fills the arena, and before the gong even sounds, a chill hits the air and makes the hair on everybody’s neck stand up. Now that’s an entrance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D376G1A_9L0&feature=related

Criteria
Instantly Recognizable – 9
Rest of the song – 8
Catchyness – 5
Energy/Creepiness – 10
Swag- 10
Total – 42

#4- Hulk Hogan

The definition of swag. We all know the song, we’ve heard it a million times. Obama even used it before one of his speeches! If the WWF had the technology to create an amazing video and killer entrance ramp in the 1980’s, this would probably be higher on the list, if not #1. Nobody explodes out of those curtains like Hogan. His finger pointed at the ring, talking to nobody in particular, having every single person mobbing him as he tries to make it to the ring. This man was truly idolized. A big part of that idolization is the fact that nobody could pump you up than Hogan marching toward the ring, eyes fixed on his opponent, letting him know that it was officially “on.” Throw an annoyingly catchy song on top of all that swag? You have the Immortal one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zkhw6eOw2ew&feature=related

FF to 3:55 if you dont want to watch the part leading up to the entrance.

Instantly Recognizable – 7
Rest of the song – 8
Catchyness – 8
Energy/Creepiness – 9
Swag – 10
Total- 42

#3- Randy “The Viper” Orton

The reason I say “The Viper” in his name, is because I associate his  “Viper” nickname with his “voices” entrance and “the Legend Killer” with his prior entrance. When the building goes quiet and “I hear voices in my head” comes on there is no way to explain it except that the place explodes. I find myself reciting the beginning of the song many times during and after his matches. He carries himself with almost a psychotic swag, you never know if he will sprint down to the ring or slowly prowl. If you actually listen to the rest the song, you will realize that it is creepy as hell, and probably shouldnt be allowed to the audience its targeted. But like I said, the building explodes, so no one really hears it anyways.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv30Emv-was&feature=related

Criteria
Instantly Recognizable – 10
Rest of the song – 6
Catchyness – 7
Energy/Creepiness – 10
Swag – 10
Total – 43

#2- New Age Outlaws

Want to see how a great entrance should be done? Watch a clip of the New Age Outlaws… The “OHHH you didnt know!!” not only tells you exactly who is coming  to the ring, it gets every single person in the crowd joining in. They also have some of the better mic skills to introduce themselves (none of this R-truth garbage)! There isn’t a person that watched wrestling in the 90’s that has forgot the “Ladies and gentleman boys and girls” bit. Also, greatest 4-note guitar riff ever! These guys must get so much respect for shedding really terrible gimmicks, and creating two of the best characters, and perhaps the greatest tag-team ever. These guys were the definition of cool. And in the Attitude Era, Cool is the rule.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdsBbonKJ3U
Criteria
Instantly recognizable – 10
Rest of the song – 6
Catchyness – 10
Energy/Creepiness – 9
Swag- 8
Total – 43

and Number 1 is….

.

.

.

Shawn Michaels

What is there to say about this entrance that hasnt already been said. From the moaning to start to the great guitar riff and lyrics everyone sings along to. The Heartbreak Kid went from one of the better tag team songs (if you aren’t familiar with the Rockers theme song, check it out, it can pump you up!) to a truly legendary entrance as a singles wrestler. This is musically one of the best entrances of all time… but add Michaels’ antics to it, and it takes it to a whole other level. He would always have one of the longest entrances on the card every single night. When he was a heel, his slow, cocky strut and disrobing would get under the skin of everybody who wanted to see this punk get his face kicked in. When he turned face, this gave him more time to hog the spotlight and revel in the cheers of the fans. Entrances can go too long and lose their steam, but Michaels never did, and therefore, the crowd never did.  The energy in the building does not stop from the time the first moan starts, and only gets more energetic by the time he does his patented lunge flex in the ring.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQMVQJijl_A&feature=related

^^ Not the best quality, but great fan reaction and shows all attribute of a Shawn Michaels Entrance

Criteria
Instantly Recognizable – 8
Rest of the Song –  10
Catchyness – 9
Energy – 8
Swag – 10.
Total- 46

Thanks for reading. Some of the videos are not the greatest, or pulled from a time when each superstar was not at the height of popularity. But due to WWE licensing rights actual entrances are pulled off of youtube quite regularly, so I was happy with what I was able to find. I dont expect you to agree with everything I put, after all blogging is an opinion driven business. Comment and discuss if you think someone was rated too high, or too low.

PG with Attitude?

If the world of professional wrestling is ever-evolving, why does it seem like I’m watching a weak version of the same old thing? We should learn from the past, not fuck it up.

I was having a conversation with a fellow wrestling aficionado , Tony, about the “PG” nature of the current WWE. He is steadfast in the belief that the current WWE is too soft compared to what it used to be in the heart of the Attitude Era. While I don’t think professional wrestling is too “soft” per se, I do think that it’s become a bit too polished and clean. So what do I mean by too polished?

Back in “the day” wrestlers typically had a ver different build and things were much more mat-oriented. However, as the 90’s wore on, WCW turned to higher violence, but really focused on cruiserweights. Meanwhile the WWF started bringing in some real high flyers like the Hardy Boys, but where the WWF really broke out was the uber-violent department. I loved both of these wrestling organizations at this time because they were so starkly different from each other, yet both had an amazing amount of talent. Now it seems, we’ve watered down the best of both of those worlds.

The fun, high-flying luchadors are now doing the same moves to Sheamus and Drew McIntyre as they used to do to Juventud Guerrera and Psychosis. I have a hard time believing Rey Mysterio Jr. can actually huracanrana Wade Barrett. Meanwhile, the “violence” has been turned down significantly compared to 1999, but not to the point it was in the late 80’s. However, to be honest, I think it’s worse in a way now. In watching a “street fight” with Randy Orton and David Otunga on today’s Smackdown!, I actually just started channel surfing. A certain amount of this can be chalked up to the fact that Mr. Hudson was allowed to enter the squared circle. However, a bigger reason for disappointment was the sheer lack of chaos that ensued. Street fights should not spend any significant amount of time in the ring, they should involve more than 1 weapon, and by the end of it, you better have me convinced someone actually got hurt. I would rather see a normal match than some weak excuse for an “all out brawl”. Even the WCW knew how to properly put on a street fight in the mid-late 90’s. You want to see a street fight? Here’s a fuckin’ street fight!!! …and here’s the 2nd part of the fuckin’ street fight!.

HARDCORE!!!

I understand the WWE wanting to create a new image for themselves but I still think there are a few things we can take from the past to make the present even better.

1. (On behalf of Tony) Bring back Tornado Tag matches! So many great tag team title matches during that Attitude Era, and what’s the overlying theme amongst most of them? They were tornado matches! Be it ladder, table, TLC, or just plain tornado tag, there’s no doubt that it was more entertaining. I understand it can’t happen all the time, but it is pretty much completely gone now and all we want to know is “why?”

2. Let the blood flow! This personally upsets me the most. I can’t recal the last time i saw a Superstar bleed significantly. However, this makes no sense to me because even at its cartooniest of times, there was still plenty of blood shed in that squared circle. At WrestlemaniaV, Hogan wrestles most of the main event with blood running into his eye. Shawn Michaels has lost gallons of blood throughout his career (and the changing images of the WWE/F) and it always was appreciated by the fans. After all, aren’t they supposed to give us their BLOOD, sweat, and tears?

3. Cruiserweight division. Right now the WWE has a decent roster of cruiserweights. I quickly scanned the WWE roster and found 20 guys that should be in their own division. Get rid of the U.S. title, bring back the Cruiserweight title, and build it up with some great rivalries. Maybe some people find it entertaining to watch Kofi Kingston face Kane, but I much prefer 2 high flyers move in the ring with each other. They are more familiar with the moves so they are less stiff with their bumps, and more important, it’s actually believable. I get the whole david vs. goliath concept, but let the little guys fling each other around, and let the big guys go back to pounding the crap out of each other.

What aspect of wrestling went away before its time? Or perhaps, what aspect needs to go away sooner rather than later? Let your voice be heard!

–PerfectHeel

Giving Thanks

The attitude of gratitude has arrived. Survivor Series is less than a week removed, and I want to share what I was most grateful for during the pay-per-view: Every single person/team that I wanted to win did. I can’t help but feel that the WWE put this pay-per-view on just for me. The only dampening of spirits that occurred was Mark Henry holding on to the belt (not that Big Show would be that much better of a champion), but nonetheless, i was a perfect 6/6 on people I wanted to win. The most surprising result was the one I personally felt most invested in. Somehow, the WWE had Randy Orton’s team lose in the Traditional SS match. Orton has a very good track record in these matches, and is famous for being the Sole Survivor. And with the way this match was going, it looked like there was going to be another Randy Orton comeback as The Viper has become so popular for. But this year, it wasn’t meant to be.

Wrestlemania XXX main event? Yes Please!

Randy Orton is def. in my top 5 in the WWE right now. Probably top 3, but right now #1 on that list has to be Cody Rhodes. The current IC champion is absolutely sick. Phenomenal in-ring skills, a great wrestling personality, good looks, and championship bloodline really make me wonder how far they are going to let this guy go. I’m probably getting ahead of myself, but I see a LOT of main events in this kid’s future. This is a chance for the WWE to right the wrongs they are famous for by allowing this guy to live up to his potential, despite the fact that he’s not bulging with muscles or 6’6+. And before anybody wants to shoot back with HBK or Bret Hart or even Randy Savage, remember this: they were all faces when they won the ‘ship. The only way for a heel to be champ it seems is if he’s physically intimidating, despite how stiff or awkward he is to watch in the ring. This is one of the things that WCW always did better than WWF. If you are a good enough draw and put on the most entertaining match on the card, why the hell shouldn’t you be rewarded with the belt? Imagine if Ric Flair had been in the WWF the whole time. The Nature Boy would have had 2 title reigns. If Mason Ryan gets a Heavyweight Championship match before Rhodes does, I’ll start watching TNA (and then probably drown myself out of boredom). I don’t know anybody who has luke-warm feelings about Rhodes. Most hate him, some love him. Either way, I am grateful that Cody Rhodes got to be one of the Survivors in this year’s Survivor Series match.

Also, I must express gratitude that CM Punk will (hopefully) actually have a legitimate title run. Finally, I’m most grateful for the host of my Survivor Series watching, Colin, and my friend Tony for inviting me to watch the Series the way it was meant to be watched, on a real TV!

Discussion topic: what was the most shocking WWE victory you ever saw?

–perfect heel

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