Just like A-Train, the PerfectHeel is back on track. I must admit, a large part of the hiatus of this blog was due to the fact that I’m lazy. An even bigger part is that I was uninspired. However, that could not be further from the case today. Even going into WrestleMania, I didn’t seem as jacked as most of my friends were. This is at least partially because I knew my boy was going to go down to the Big Slow (nobody talks that much shit and gets away with it, not even the son of the American Dream), but also, I just didn’t feel the spark and spirit that my comrades had in their hearts. They knew the night was going to be magical, and I was just too much of a Negative Nancy to see it. My mind changed quickly after the 18 second jobbing of Daniel Bryan. Was he going to lose that match? Of course. Did I see it going down that way? Absolutely not!
One of the biggest things that was destroyed with the internet is the element of surprise. With so many rumor mills and message boards, the truth almost always comes out, but I don’t know of a single person that saw this coming. Many people are upset because they feel those two didn’t get the time to shine like they deserved, and those people are 100% correct. Sheamus is amazing, especially for a big man (who I generally think are just a bunch of overrated sack of potatoes) and D-Bry is a true wrestler’s wrestler. It was great to see the fans give him the props he deserves. Even still though, I loved the kick-off just for the shock and awe factor, and I am forever grateful that Rhodes didn’t have to job for the element of surprise. I like ya Bryan, but not that much. The night was filled with great moments, but I hate the kind of blogs that just do rundowns and don’t look at the bigger picture, so lets widen our scope a little.
I can honestly say for the first time in many, many, many years that I have no idea what’s going to happen next. More gimmicks are coming out of the woodwork (people who have been reading this for a while already know my love of well-executed gimmicks) every week, random alliances are popping up out of nowhere (Brodus Clay coming to the aid of Santino Marella? Fo Realz?), titles are being defended regularly on weekly programs? All I can say is I WANT MORE! This is one of the most exciting times for wrestling. Its the dawning of a “new era”, and if the crowds can keep up even one fifth of the excitement and intensity that the Miami crowds had for WM and Raw, this is going to be a full-blown circus. And I say good! This is professional entertainment. There was a bit of a staleness going on lately that was starting to effect a lot of people. My friend Tony and I continued our tag-team debate, and I’ll admit that tag team wrestling can be VERY formulaic at times, but that doesn’t have to be the case. The WWE is constantly re-inventing the wheel, and if they can do it for the tag team division, I might be in WWE ecstasy. Who knows, they might even start giving DZ the respect he deserves, but now I think I’m just getting ahead of myself.
Of course, no Heel post would be complete with me throwing love to the best Intercontinental Champion in the last 15 years, Cody Rhodes. Yes he went down to the Big Slow, but he did his job, and that’s bring credibility back to the Intercontinental Title. No longer is this belt in the same ranks as the U.S. title or Diva’s title. This is a title that actually means something now. You have to be a name to deserve the shot. He didn’t drop it to Kofi Kingston or Alex Riley or Ezekiel fuckin’ Jackson, he dropped it to a 5 time heavyweight champion (6 time if you count ECW, but nobody counts ECW, and nobody should.) Furthermore, Rhodes brought back the classic design (which I think we can all agree was brilliant), engaged in huge storylines, and successfully defended his title against headliners. And now, it’s on to bigger and better things. I think that big gold belt would look damn good around the waist of the dashing one. That pasty Irish cheese-bomb better be shaking in his kilt (Jingoism for the win!) because now the sky’s the limit. Did you hear the response he got from the Miami crowd at Raw? My man is getting respect. And by the way, NOBODY looked better coming down that aisle on Sunday.
So where does the WWE go from here? I have no idea, but you better believe I’ll be tuning in to find out. What were your impressions of WrestleMania XXVIII? Where do you see these storylines going? And also, what gimmick are they going to re-work next? I’m thinking a re-work of Duke “the Dumpster” Drose, or perhaps we can bring back The Brood.
Thanks for reading everybody and remember: when life gets you down, kick out at two. And if you can’t kick out at two, reach for the ropes.
2012 is going to be a fantastic year for the WWE. Launching the WWE Network, the much needed re-vamping of the logo (the attitude era is long-since gone, its time to get rid of the “extreme” font), and some good old fashioned fun being brought back to the squared circle, from two of the most unexpected sources. First we have John Laurinaitis and this whole Corporate interference thing the WWE is bringing back. Now, don’t get me wrong, the guy still can’t act, and has an absolutely desolate wardrobe, but the storyline he’s in right now is fantastic and Punk is good enough on the mic to make up for Johnny. This character is great. He’s hated in a comparable yet completely separate way from the way Mr. McMahon was hated. And how appropriate is it that Punk is pretty much the modern day Stone Cold to play antagonist to Laurinaitis’ stumbling, bumbling, executive-vice-president-of-talent-relations version of the Boss.
And then there’s Brodus Clay. Where the hell did this come from? I remember a few short months ago watching Brodus stoically destroy hometown jobbers and all the sudden, i have a fatter version of the Godfather on my hands? Let me just say: I love it! I know I’m the heel and all of that, but this guy is entertaining as hell. For a big man, he can move very well in the ring, and I have to admit, i’m totally captivated by this guy. For reasons unknown, I’m fully on board the bandwagon.
However, what has me even more geeked is the Royal Rumble match coming up in about 10 days. To me, this is the best match the WWF has ever created. Born in ’88, improved in ’89, and perfected in ’92 (making the Rumble winner become WWE champ, or at least WWE #1 contender), the Rumble is non-stop action for an hour. The only thing that they could do to improve the rumble is to bring back the wrestler thoughts segment. Why the hell would you ever get rid of this? This is promo gold!
I’m not one for predictions, especially in a scripted sport, so I’ll just say the top 5 Wrestlers I’ll be pulling for in the rumble.
Brodus Clay – If this guy wins, it’d be the quickest and biggest push any superstar has received since Hogan winning the WCW title in his first in-ring appearance for the company. However, he’s entertaining, and i dont think nearly enough big men have won this rumble. Again, i know it’s scripted but Rey Mysterio going coast-to-coast? give me a break. Brodus would have eaten his children before Rey even hit the ring.
Chris Jericho – This return still has me confused. He’d be such a great opponent for Punk, and while I love Dolph, there’s no chance Punk loses that title before ‘Mania. So why not have 2 of the best technical wrestlers in the biz face each other for the title at Wrestlemania? Besides, we still have no idea what he’s doing back in the WWE yet because of his silence, but they’ve already had him turn his back on Punk in a match, perhaps the Rumble will really set this thing in motion?
Sheamus – Going back to the big guys, it’s totally plausible for Sheamus to win the rumble from a size standpoint, he’s been in several undercard feuds, coming out the winner in all of them (literately and figuratively ). He’s a great character who’s fantastic in big matches. Him and DB could have a great Wrestlemania match. Especially now that Mr. Bryan is becoming quite the convincing heel.
Randy Orton – The Viper has been out of the Main Event scene for too long. This guy is still unbelievable, and lately i’ve been watching matches from earlier in his career before I got back into the scene. This guy deserves to be one of the most decorated champions ever. An Orton/Punk reboot would be much appreciated by me, who missed some of the better moments the first go-around, and Orton/Bryan would be entertaining also. Pretty much anybody you put in the ring with Orton will have a good match. And damn…those dropkicks…
Cody Rhodes – My man-crush on Cody does not appear to be dying down at all, does it? The current I.C. champ (5-month long reign and counting. Just sayin’) recently said he was going to pull an Ultimate Warrior and hold both titles. Now, even I admit that Rhodes is not ready to be the face of the company yet, but a push like this could get him ready very quickly. Either way, I think 2012 is going to take Cody to the main event level, and I say bring it on.
One bold prediction I will make: This year, the winner comes from the dreaded 11-20 range. I’m thinking #15. Go define the odds, middle men!
Discussion Question: Who are YOU pulling for in this year’s Rumble?
In watching the most recent Smackdown, A great storyline (and match with Cody Rhodes) was continued with Daniel Bryan’s quest for championship gold. You see, five months ago DB won the Smackdown 2011 Money In The Bank match. I truly feel this is the best concept the WWE has incorporated in the last 10 years. Here are my top 5 reasons the Money In The Bank match is such a beautiful idea.
5. It involves a ladder. I’m a sucker for ladders. Ever since Shawn Michaels went “Superfly” on Razor Ramon, I’ve been all about the ladders. They’re so versatile! The drama is great, the finishes are always over the top, and there’s always a good chance someone is going through a table, which segues nicely into number 4…
4. It is attitude-esque. Oooh that violence! At times it seems a little absurd that all 7 guys on the floor would just stand in a little huddle while someone like Jeff Hardy or John Morrison jumps on them from 20 feet in the air, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s super dangerous and entertaining to watch. These guys kill themselves for our mere entertainment dollar. The least we can do is respect and give props when done so. The Attitude Era took a lot of liberties with the word “wrestling” but i’d be lying if i said it didn’t WOW and impress me.
3. It ALWAYS fast-tracks your career. It’s pretty much a given that if you have that briefcase, you’re going to be a mainstay on every single televised program. And since that briefcase has been cashed successfully EVERY time, it’s pretty much a title in-and-of itself. Of course, someone is going to be the first person to not capitalize on it, and that person will have that stigma with them forever, but until that day comes, I consider the MITB briefcase to be the 3rd biggest title in the game.
2. Anybody can win! Because this briefcase can be cashed in 3 calendar seasons later, it truly means that any of the competitors have a realistic shot of winning. if they plan on using the briefcase soon, then of course one of the bigger names in the event are going to win. However, like in this case, where they planned on making this thing go the distance, they were able to have DB win it, a true upset in this scripted world we enthrall ourselves in.
1. You have to stay on your toes. Unless you have serious insider information, you don’t know when the MITB briefcase is going to be cashed in. So any time the champ is down, if that briefcase is still in play, somewhere in the back of your head, an alarm goes off, telling you to be on alert for the drama. Summerslam was a lackluster of a main event, until CM Punk won, then Kevin Nash, then BAM, Alberto Del Rio (without even being properly introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez!) runs down, cashes in the contract, and dashes the dreams of the Punk fans. Now, I consider myself to be one of those Punk fans, but I still love a good twist. And that single move made me feel just in actually ordering the pay per view (before i realized you could watch it online for free.)
This is a call to arms. I’m going through writers block, so if you read this and have any ideas for topics/top 10 lists/whatever, please let me know what you’d like to read about. After all, I write this blog for others to read, not myself.
The attitude of gratitude has arrived. Survivor Series is less than a week removed, and I want to share what I was most grateful for during the pay-per-view: Every single person/team that I wanted to win did. I can’t help but feel that the WWE put this pay-per-view on just for me. The only dampening of spirits that occurred was Mark Henry holding on to the belt (not that Big Show would be that much better of a champion), but nonetheless, i was a perfect 6/6 on people I wanted to win. The most surprising result was the one I personally felt most invested in. Somehow, the WWE had Randy Orton’s team lose in the Traditional SS match. Orton has a very good track record in these matches, and is famous for being the Sole Survivor. And with the way this match was going, it looked like there was going to be another Randy Orton comeback as The Viper has become so popular for. But this year, it wasn’t meant to be.
Randy Orton is def. in my top 5 in the WWE right now. Probably top 3, but right now #1 on that list has to be Cody Rhodes. The current IC champion is absolutely sick. Phenomenal in-ring skills, a great wrestling personality, good looks, and championship bloodline really make me wonder how far they are going to let this guy go. I’m probably getting ahead of myself, but I see a LOT of main events in this kid’s future. This is a chance for the WWE to right the wrongs they are famous for by allowing this guy to live up to his potential, despite the fact that he’s not bulging with muscles or 6’6+. And before anybody wants to shoot back with HBK or Bret Hart or even Randy Savage, remember this: they were all faces when they won the ‘ship. The only way for a heel to be champ it seems is if he’s physically intimidating, despite how stiff or awkward he is to watch in the ring. This is one of the things that WCW always did better than WWF. If you are a good enough draw and put on the most entertaining match on the card, why the hell shouldn’t you be rewarded with the belt? Imagine if Ric Flair had been in the WWF the whole time. The Nature Boy would have had 2 title reigns. If Mason Ryan gets a Heavyweight Championship match before Rhodes does, I’ll start watching TNA (and then probably drown myself out of boredom). I don’t know anybody who has luke-warm feelings about Rhodes. Most hate him, some love him. Either way, I am grateful that Cody Rhodes got to be one of the Survivors in this year’s Survivor Series match.
Also, I must express gratitude that CM Punk will (hopefully) actually have a legitimate title run. Finally, I’m most grateful for the host of my Survivor Series watching, Colin, and my friend Tony for inviting me to watch the Series the way it was meant to be watched, on a real TV!
Discussion topic: what was the most shocking WWE victory you ever saw?